Growing up I always wondered what my purpose was, what my destiny was on this earth? Let’s say my life hasn’t been the easiest. I’ve had more than my fair share of hardships. My mother didn’t let me do much, she spent most of my life over protecting me even into my teens and adulthood. She did the best she could though. Given what life she had growing up.
The worst struggles have been the past three years everything hit me all at once and it feels as though I can’t take a full breathe in. First my stepmom has a massive heart attack out of now where, during that time I took time off work to be with my father in the hospital by his side. After two months she was released, two months later my father suffered a massive heart attack but didn’t make it. I had gone back to work and that phone call sitting in my supervisors office just broken me. I had no clue how I would recover from the loss of my father. I could only thank my mother for helping with my two little ones at home.
A few months went by, where I drank myself stupid most weekends just to hide the pain I felt. I was lost and felt alone. Then the call came that my mother was in the hospital, she had found out she had colon cancer. She had surgery, it went well, of course it never lasts. Once released after her surgery her stitches broke open and she ended up with sepsis. On her death bed, i sat next to her bed, and prayed. Listened to her favorites, and talked with her. And after a few days she opened her eyes for the first time. She was cancer free and alive!
Then November hit and I got another call from her, she had liver cancer now and there wasn’t much they could, she would die from this. If I had known she would only have 6 months left with us I would of done so much different, instead I only got 3 months with her by her side, helping take care of her. The cancer over took her and in May she passed.
You would think that would be the end of it wouldn’t you? But no, my aunt who has been in and out of the hospital recently and has had her deals with cancer and being cancer free, now finds herself in need of a caretaker, she wants me.
So again as I sit here, I think on all I have been through, all that I am, and wonder is this my destiny? To help care for the ones that matter most to me?