A year

It’s been a year… already since walking in the doors… a year of learning, of trying…. A year of more good then bad. A year of letting these amazing people get to know me for me through the ups and downs. Despite the bad days I have had I still feel unbelievably blessed to have this opportunity in life. I still have days where I wonder why these people care so much. And question if they truly love me for me. In my heart though I know they do.

My mind has been my worst enemy, ever since I can remember. These thoughts that race through my mind telling me I’m not good enough, everyone leaves eventually, but I’m more determined than ever to fight against these thoughts and work through them. I’ve spent my whole life since the day I came into this world fighting, so I will continue to do so.

I’ve always felt so alone, so afraid. I’m not anymore. This I know from the bottom of my heart. I can breathe. I can feel again. I look forward to what else I will learn from these amazing wonderful people. They lend me strength when I am weak. Hope when fear comes crashing over me like waves. They believe in me, and it makes me believe in myself.

It’s been a year… of changes, of growth, of love and laughter.

Life’s journey

This past year has brought me so much. I never would have thought that my life could be filled with days of smiling and laughing more often than not. I’m still in the process of healing somethings, but with each passing day I feel more and more blessed to have the people I have in my life now. I’ve let some go, not that I would ever truly forget them they helped shape me who I am today, but different journeys in life.

Everyday I start to see myself in a way I never could imagine. It’s interesting to me that complete strangers who I only met 9 months ago could become so damn important to me with their kindness, and words of encouragements. I will be forever grateful. I went from hating myself to loving myself for all that I am and sometimes it’s overwhelming to the point I want to cry happy tears. I look forward more than I look back.

Unexpected

It is in the unexpected, out of the ordinary, unpredictable ways that someone falls in the depths of your eyes, the grooves of your smile. The kindness you show, and falls head over heals for your comedic relief. The calm, unfiltered and unapologetic authority you carry around you as if nothing and no one can phase you. The eyes hold the soul if you look deep enough, to see the pain and hurt that someone can carry.

Reaching out their hand for someone to hold on to. Listening to others problems and wishing someone would just listen to theirs for once. To share their most private thoughts and past experiences that have made them into who they are. It starts with a smile that makes your heart pound almost out of your chest and before you know it the world seems to be changing in front of your very eyes.

Colors become more bright, the way the song bird sings it song becomes a beautiful melody you can’t get enough of. Never knowing where it will go or if it will last but knowing within your soul it’s worth the chance.