Chaos


He was everything I didn’t want but everything I needed at the time he walked into my life. Dark eyes that held so much mystery behind the sadness in them, that I felt on a soul level.

He wanted to be seen, he wanted to be known for all that he was, he wanted someone to accept him the way he accepted everyone around him. Trust was earned not freely given and even once you got it, it could be taken away at any moment. He was alone in a world filled with people, cautiously watching everyone around him, seeing the masks they portray to the world.

I was living content when fate seemed to bring my prince of darkness to my life, maybe it was meant to be, or maybe we just wanted one person to truly notice the pain we carried inside without having to say it. One look at each other and I was drawn like a moth to the flame, sacrificing myself in its beauty, only I could see.

The fear of lose or lack of fear bonded us, knowing nothing lasts forever. I grew to want him for his mind. He was intelligent beyond my knowing, I wanted him to share with me all that he knew, all that he craved for from this life. He became my kryptonite before I had a chance to even blink. Amazing me everyday with his kindness, his patience, his words in my darkest of hours. I would call to him for strength and a shoulder to lean on, and he took it with grace.

My heart belonged to him and him alone, even if I didn’t get his in return. I made a conscious decision to let him fully in, knowing all that I am even in my most weakest of states. I began to see myself through his eyes, the beauty, the strength. A better me than I thought I deserved to be. All I could do was love him completely and unconditionally. He gave me life, and what it meant to feel true happiness, when all I had felt was empty.

He was chaos and beauty in one teaching me everyday it was okay to be beautifully broken. He would call to me in my dreams, making memories that would be everlasting. I would gladly burn in the flame for him, his true happiness was what he deserved. He didn’t deserve to settle for less in life. He deserved to be seen for all that he was and he deserved to know he was worth more than being controlled by those around him, being chained, and suffocated by who they wanted him to be.

He was good enough without the mask he wore for this fake world that surrounded us both, our lives would always be fated to meet. We completed each other and made each other whole. Giving a shelter from the world that continuously tried to bring us down, so when he left I knew it was only a matter of time before we would meet again.

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