Going back.

Sometimes you have to go back in order to heal and face things you never wanted to face before. Be brave and get it right. Unfortunately sometimes going back brings back good and bad memories. The way a person looked at you, the way that at that point in your life you had someone to share in all the good and bad things and how it breaks your heart they aren’t there anymore. And you find yourself wishing that you could grab on to that happiness and hold on to it so tightly. But that happiness is no longer there, just the reminders of what was and what will never be again.

So even though you don’t try to you pull the mask down in place over the tears that slip down your cheeks and show the world your smile, but behind that mask you are broken with a heart that is heavy. Missing someone, something you can no longer have. You can’t even tell who you are or who you want to be anymore.

So I’ll walk around and pretend because maybe one day I’ll have that person who was always reaching out or maybe that person I’ve loved for so long will open their eyes and finally notice me for me. Or maybe I’ll finally notice myself.

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